discovery

After church on mother's day, my parents and I join some family friends for lunch. I had stayed with Kit & Sue one summer and have enjoyed their company ever since. Maybe it's their easy-going attitude, or Kit's random humour, or their awareness of the important things in life. They have a seven-month old daughter, Constance, who stares at me during lunch with big black eyes. I watch the young parents with interest as they eagerly discuss parenting issues with my mom and dad. They will make great parents.

During our leisurely dim sum lunch, Kit asks me what quality about my mom I admire the most. No one has ever asked me this question before. I've never asked myself this question either. I smile as I pause to think of an answer. There were three great things about this question. First, it reflects Kit's interest in getting to know me and my mom. Second, it gave an opportunity for me to praise my mom on mother's day. And third, it allowed me to discover something new about myself.

Monday evening I have dinner with two of my really good friends. We decide to eat Vietnamese in Causeway Bay. During dinner, the topics of discussion are the content of Chinese pop songs, upcoming superhero movies, and our jobs. Although the conversation is pleasant, I leave with a sense of regret. Prior to the meal, I had been excited about this opportunity to get to know my friends better. I don't get alot of chances to see them. And even though I love these two guys, I wonder if our friendship is getting stale.

Deep down I think people have a desire to be known and to be accepted. I know I want my friends and family to know me for who I am (the great parts and the not-so-great and even embarrassing parts) and to love me for it. There's a world of a difference between the praise/love of an acquaintance and the praise/love of a close friend.

In my attempt to be a better friend/family member, to treat them the way I want to be treated, I will make extra effort to know my friends/family better. I once read in a book that a great way to continue getting to know someone is to discover something new about them every time you see them. It's easy to discover something new about a friend you just met, but it takes much more creativity when it comes to a friend you've known for over ten years.

I know how I sometimes get stuck having to think of something on the spot (like a creative question). So this morning I brainstormed a list of questions I want to ask my friends / family. New, fresh, and original questions. Next time I see you I will try to remember to ask you one of these questions (and for those two friends from Monday, I will ask two to make up for the missed opportunity).

"Do unto others as you would have them do to you". ~Luke 6:31~